I got pulled over

I got pulled over last night on my way to the grocery store, which was especially annoying because people rarely get pulled over for traffic violations in Chicago. However, I felt a little better when I noticed a female police officer get out of the car and begin walking towards me.

“License and registration?” she asked when she reached my window.

“Sure, one sec.” I replied as I gave her a quick once-over.

I handed her my driver’s license and then slowly began to look in the glove compartment as I thought about how to seduce her into letting me go.

To buy some time, I asked, “Why did you pull me over?”

“You failed to make a complete stop at the stop sign and failed to signal before making a right turn.” She mechanically replied.

“Fair enough.” I said without looking up.

I found the registration and held it up for her. As she reached out to grab it, I quickly pulled it back and said, “How about this. How about instead of giving you my registration,” I looked down at my crotch and then back up at her and said, “I give you a little something else to peek at?”

She paused for a second to consider my proposition, and then asked, “How long?”

“Well, that depends. Sometimes it’s longer than others. I’m guessing it’ll be relatively short right now given the cold weather and the novelty of this situation. But you never know.”

“No, you idiot! I mean, how long do I get to look at it?”

“Oh, right. Of course. Umm, how about three seconds?”

She thought about it for a moment, and then countered, “How about five seconds?”

“Deal.”

I turned on the dome light, and then unbuttoned my pants and pulled down my underwear far enough to take out my penis. I noticed that my penis was especially limp so I pulled out my scrotum to compensate.

“Ok,” I said, “You can look now.”

She stuck her head in the window and looked down at it.

She stood there and stared at it for about five seconds without making any sounds or gestures. Then she nodded her head and handed back my license and said, “Nice doing business with you sir.”