If you like this blog, then you might like this

I wrote a long story.

Here is a link to my Scribd page - - http://www.scribd.com/cyruspirani9035

I'm sure it's full of typos (I noticed a typo on the first page right after posting it.) And I'm sure that when I read it again I'll want to make lots of changes, but I think it's ok to read for now. If you decide to read it, I would recommend downloading it and printing it out (primarily because I want you to appreciate how I put page breaks at the end of each section.)

Also, if anyone reading this likes to write. I highly recommend writing a long story -- something you can't do in one sitting, so that you're forced to think about it when you're not writing. You might learn a little bit about yourself during the process. And you might also realize that there are a lot of things about yourself that you have yet to learn. That was definitely the coolest part.

man

I’ve been getting bored with exercising lately so I thought I’d switch things up by signing up for an aerobics class at my gym.

My first class was last night, and I arrived just in time to get a spot in the back of the room. It took about two seconds to realize that I was the only man in the class.

I was beginning to wonder whether it was implied that my class was for women only, when another man walked in just as the instructor began to lead us through some stretches. (And to my relief, he looked to be in slightly worse shape than me.)

The man put down his bag and sat against the back wall and did a few stretches of his own (although his stretches just looked more like a couple of exaggerated yawns.) After 15 seconds of stretching, he stopped and removed a water bottle from his bag and set it on the floor next to him.

When he opened the water bottle, I could immediately smell the vodka.

I took a step back and asked him, “Do you drink vodka while you’re doing aerobics?”

“Oh, no, I’m just here to watch.”

My New Year's Resolution is to Self Promote

(just kidding)

I read this article on the New Yorker website today and it reminded me of this post I wrote three years ago. So I did something I had never done before: I posted the URL of that post into the comments section of the New Yorker story. It was my first act of publicizing this blog.

And I kind of feel bad about it.

I'm hesitant to promote my blog because I don't want people to feel obligated to read it. And I guess I don't want my employers to find out about it.

I wonder if anyone will read my comment on the New Yorker and actually check out my blog post. And if they do, I wonder what they'll think. (which most of this stuff is)

...

And I guess what I like about posting a link to my blog on The New Yorker is that:

1) The New Yorker might be the most pretentious magazine in America

2) I commented on a very serious story about a guy who wrote what is essentially a textbook about US counterterrorism communication strategies

3) In my comment I simply wrote that the author "could have saved himself a lot of time if he had just read my blog post three years ago"

So 4) the only people who will take the time to cut and paste the link into their browser might be the ones expecting something serious

and 5) there is a part of my post where the President of Syria says to the leader of Hezbollah, "Some guys prefer to get fucked in the asshole, but that's none of my business."

Maybe I should just be satisfied with the readers I have.