radio

This morning I woke up to a song called, “the reason for the storm.” (I’m not sure if that’s formal the title of the song, but it was the song’s hook.) It was an informative song. You know how people always ask, “if there’s really a God, then why do we have hurricanes and tornados that kill innocent people?”

The song explained that if God made everything in life perfect, we wouldn’t long for him in the next life.

That’s valid. God’s gotta create the demand for himself, or else what good is his endless supply of bliss?

I was in the car with Cindy when they started talking about Psalm 1, so I switched over to NPR. Chicago public radio is on their fundraising push right now, and it’s annoying. And sometimes instead of just explaining the simple truth behind why they need money, they’ll try to come up with some funny/unique/attention getting reason.

For example, a Nun contributed over the weekend, and the anchor kept repeating, “She’s taken a vow of poverty, yet she still donated.” (he must have said that 10 times in 2 minutes.) “If someone who’s taken a vow of poverty can donate, so can you!” “She’s taken a vow of poverty!”

It didn’t occur to him that the vow of poverty probably explains why she was donating.

I don’t recall taking a vow of poverty.

Then they ran a story about the energy rate tripling in some parts of southern Illinois. After the story, the news anchor said, “Here’s an idea, instead of giving your money to the big energy companies, give it to us.” (he repeated this probably a half dozen times)

Are you kidding me? I can do better than that. Honestly, if I even had a halfway decent voice, I’d apply for the NPR news anchor job. I've made people laugh from sea to motherfucking shining sea.

I thought about contributing. Even though I’m out of work right now, I can spare $50. But then I realized that even if I contribute, I’ll still be treated like everyone else.

I’ll still have to listen to their incessant begging. I’ll have to hear the anchor say something like, “Even if you can’t give a $1,000, which we consider a leadership contribution,, well, I mean,, I guess it’s ok if all you can afford is $10 a month. If that’s all you can afford, well, hey,, I guess we’ll take it.” (which is something I actually heard him say just now on my supermarket run)

What the hell am I doing making supermarket runs in the late afternoon? I've gotta start praying. Hard.