The meeting pretty much met my expectations at the time, but looking back at it now, it was kind of funny.
(Before I start; in the career counselor’s defense I just want to say that this woman means well. She’s very good at showing people how to network and write cover letters, and I’m sure that she’s helped people find jobs before. If and when I ever have a job interview, I’ll go back to her for pointers.) (We simply met at a time in my life when I was not ready to start working.) That being said,
It was a rainy afternoon when we met at her office in the north loop, and there were some early warning signs; no computer in her office, e-mail address ending in “aol.com”, but none of that mattered if she knew people. After talking to me for a few minutes, she looked at my resume and immediately noticed my finance experience. Our conversation went like this,
Career Counselor - Cyrus, you’d really be a great fit for securities litigation.
Me – Ok, so you can read. (just kidding, I didn’t say that.) (I said something stupid like, “Indeed I would.”)
It didn’t take long for her to notice my class rank and complain,
Career Counselor – Oh Cyrus, oh, if you were just a little bit higher. Top 1/3 and top 30% is a cut-off at some firms. Can’t you just,,, I don’t want to tell you to lie about it but,,,
Me – (interrupting) Honestly, I wouldn’t want to work for a firm pretentious enough to care about a slightly lower GPA. (plus, the number on my resume is already rounded up)
Career Counselor – Cyrus, you can’t have that kind of attitude, image is important to these firms
Me – (interrupting again) Plus, that class rank is not a good indicator of my ability to succeed at a big Chicago
Career Counselor – That’s the spirit! And that’s what you’ve gotta convey in an interview.
Me – Well,,, what I meant by that was, if a big law firm hires me and expects the work product of a student in the top 35% of their class, they could be in for a disappointment
Her silence combined with the look on her face, had me thinking that she’d never heard that one before. (I can’t imagine many have) She wasn’t sure if it was a joke, so I laughed to reassure her. Plus, I still had faith in her.
After a couple of more minutes of chit chat about why I let my grades slip, she figured me out. (I’ll admit, I’m a transparent guy, but she figured me out quickly.)
Career Counselor – Ok, so you’re one of those people who “does well when you’re motivated, but if you’re not motivated, then you won’t work hard and just hope to get by because you’ve always done well on tests.”
Me – Wow, yeah, kind of,,,, but maybe in a more, “you can trust me with the keys to the Cadillac” sort of way.
Career Counselor – Chicago
Me – Yeah, I could be like that, I just need the right motivation.
Career Counselor – But you’ve got to convince a law firm that you’re not the guy who is only going to work hard when he’s motivated
Me - Maybe money will motivate me. My girlfriend and I are $200k in debt combined…
Career Counselor – Money is a big motivating factor
Me – (Interrupting) I’ll just have to show them that I am motivated by money -- by good old fashioned American greed!
(She didn’t even blink at that. I couldn’t tell if she was sick of me or if maybe she was actually starting to believe in me.) (Or if maybe she’d already conditioned herself to block me out) The more I thought about it, maybe I did need to make some money. That line about the greed has stuck with me, even though I was joking at the time. I could really use some fucking money.
The session continued:
Career Counselor – Can you get a list of IU Alumni in Chicago
Me – Yeah, I think so
Career Counselor – Ok, get a list of alumni and start networking with them
Me – (I was waiting for more advice… waiting,,, waiting….then finally realized that she was done..) Ok...
At this point, I was starting to lose faith in her, I thought to myself, “this woman is just scamming our career services department.” But then she started to regain my confidence by giving me the names of two former colleagues that she wanted me to contact. (although instead of giving me any contact information for one of them, she told me to get the phone number by “dialing information”)
But just when it seemed like she was starting to reel me back in….
Career Counselor - Have you heard of a firm called Bartlit Beck?
(they’re probably the most prestigious litigation boutique in Chicago
Me - Yeah, I’ve heard of them,,, Phil Beck represented Bush, in Bush v. Gore. Why? (do they need a night watchman or something?)
Career Counselor - Why don’t you go on their website and see if any IU Alums work there?
Me - (I interrupted her) – Come on now, that place is like a co-ed fraternity for former Supreme Court clerks and Ivy Leaguers. You want me to get a paying job with them? (Maybe if I caught one of the partners with a prostitute, and blackmailed him with a video-tape of the actual sex,,, then maybe I could get someone on the phone. But the more likely scenario would be that a firm representative would write me a blank check and explain to me that he couldn’t give me a job under any circumstance.)
Career Counselor – Well, its worth a try
Me – (humoring her) Ok, I’ll take a look.
Career Counselor - Why don’t you go on Google and type in ‘Securities Litigation Chicago’, and see what you get.
Me – (writing it down) Did you say “google.com”?
2 comments:
if you had said paul prudhomme rather than dom deluise, you just might have guaranteed a win. you still have a good chance, but it is not a lock.
also, i received a card in the mail today for "indiana day 2007" in southeastern michigan. that might be a good networking opportunity for you.
I dealt with this lady too. I would tell others that I think she's an idiot, but that seems overly harsh. Anyways, after getting contacted by career services (who mean well but have a very limited grasp on the job market here) screening me to see if I was interested (I wasn't really, and it was a good thing it wasn't a phone call because it would have been hard for me to conceal my irritation and apathy... also, I believe I can get a job if I want one bad enough, but I expect to get interviews by simply sending out my resume and following up, not by building an extensive IU alumni network, in which 1 of 7 people are willing to help), she called me one day to set up an appointment.
After the two minutes of conversation we had, I was fortified in a belief that this lady was going to repeat all the common and common sense advice I had already heard and waste my time in doing so. The clincher was when she optimistically stated, "Well John, hopefully when you come in here, we can tune-up up some of the finer points in your interviewing and get you a job." Well, I hoped so too.
This sealed it for me because, my interviewing isn't the problem. (or maybe it is, but I wouldn't know) Since I've moved up here, sent out at least 100 resumes, followed up on resumes I have sent out, passed the bar, and gone to alumni events I've only had two interviews.
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