Overheard on the Bus this morning:

I was sitting on the bus this morning and overheard this conversation between the two girls behind me.

Girl 1 – So did you??

Girl 2 – (hesitates) Yes

Girl 1 – (gets excited) So,,, How was it?

Girl 2 – Well, it was good,

Girl 1 – Ooooh!

Girl 2 – It started out great, and

Girl 1 – What happened? Tell me everything that happened after you left the bar.

Girl 2 – Ok, so we walked back to his condo – he’s got a really nice place in Old Town – and then we sat and talked for a while and then he opened a bottle of wine and put on some music.

Girl 1 – Ooh, very romantic.

Girl 2 – It was. So we drank and talked. And I think I was a little tipsy because I was trying to get him to dance with me, but eventually we started making out – he’s a great kisser.

Girl 1 – Ohhhh,

Girl 2 – Then one thing led to another and we were in his bedroom.

Girl 1 – Sounds great so far.

Girl 2 – It was. And then, actually, he didn’t have any protection so he ran across the street to a Walgreens and…

Girl 1 – (Interrupting) Ok, ok, just skip to the good stuff. Was he big?

Girl 2 – Above average for sure.

Girl 1 – So how was it?

Girl 2 – It was good, he was really good. He was older, so seemed to know his way around the bed, and I’m pretty sure he takes Viagra.

Girl 1 – Oh, I love it when guys are on Viagra

Girl 2 – I’ve had mixed experiences, but it didn’t make him crazy or anything.

Girl 1 – Ok, so then what?

Girl 2 – Then he asked me to call him “Daddy” – and I’ve been with a black guy before, so I didn’t think that was a big deal, so I started calling him “Daddy”

Girl 1 – And then what?

Girl 2 – So after I was calling him “daddy” he got even more into it and it got better, and then he asked “Who’s your daddy?” So I told him that he was.

Girl 1 – I’ve heard about guys who are into that kind of stuff.

Girl 2 – Yeah, and then he kept telling me to call him daddy and dad and papi

Girl 1 – And?

Girl 2 – And so I did. And he was really into it, and it was great, but

Girl 1 – But what?

Girl 2 – But then he said, “Tell me you want me to give you your allowance early this week.”

Girl 1 – What?

Girl 2 – Yeah, I know. So I was like, “Uh, what?” and he just said it again. He said, “Ask me if you can have your allowance early this week.”

Girl 1 – That’s weird.

Girl 2 – Yeah, very weird, and I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. So he got kind of flustered and said, “Ok, ok, then ask me if I’ll drive you and your friends to the mall tomorrow.”

Girl 1 – Oh my God.

Girl 2 – Yeah.

Girl 1 – So what’d you do?

Girl 2 – What else could I do? I jumped off the bed, took off the Sesame Street t-shirt he gave me, put my clothes back on and got the hell out of there!