Quick Realizations

I had a couple of realizations just now.

1) I was driving home, and the gas light in my dad's car came on. As much as I hate admitting it, for a second, I thought to myself, "What are the chances he drives this thing next and pays for the tank?" Then I realized that I'm, maybe, I'm not saying I am, but maybe I'm a free loader? Or close? Or, ok fine, I'm free loading for the time being.

2) My dad might be losing a step. I walked in the door just now, (at 3:15am), and he's passed out on the couch. I 'haven't even closed the door behind me before he asks me to check the mail. "The mail?" I ask.

"Yeah"

"At 3:15 am?" I ask. again.

"Yeah. Check the mail." he mumbles.

The worst part is that I actually went outside and checked the fucking mail.

He might be talking about the mail in his sleep, but I'm the dumbass actually listening to him and looking inside the mailbox at 3:15 am. Like there's something new in there.

I need a vacation.