My favorite book-on-public-transportation story

Johnnie O once saw a man on the L reading John Adams --- something anyone who rides public transportation everyday has probably seen multiple times. But as Johnnie O got off the train, he noticed that the man had put a John Adams book cover over a Harry Potter book.

I get a kick out of imagining that guy's personality. Plus I don't understand the shame in reading Harry Potter. It's probably the 2nd most popular series I've seen on public transportation, behind The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

I've only been self-conscious about my book selection once. I read The Devil Wears Prada, the Hunger Games trilogy, and Ric Flair's autobiography on public transportation and didn't think anything of them. But if I had to come up with a top five self-concsious reads on a CTA bus/train, they'd be these:

5. The Prize (Daniel Yergin)

- This is a 900+ page hardcover about the history of oil. For the most part I didn't think anything of it, but once in a while I could imagine it looking a bit pretentious to be standing on a crowded train and pulling that thing out of my bag and taking notes in the margins. (Very good book, but I won't give it a strong recommendation because of its length. That being said, I think the length is necessary because it emphasizes oil's impact on the economy.)

4. The Breast (Phillip Roth)

- I suppose the title is enough, but anyone who knows this book probably knows it's bad and is wondering why I'm reading it. (I bought it because I thought it was funny to walk into used bookstores and loudly ask, "Do you have The Breast by Phillip Roth?) (Plus I had read the other two Kepesh books, so I was curious.) (And it was pretty bad. I definitely do not recommend it.)

3. The Dying Animal (Phillip Roth)

- Great book, but one morning I was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with a woman on the train while reading a foreplay scene with an act that --- how do I want to put this? --- you've probably never seen done in porn.

2. Capitalism and Freedom (Milton Friedman)

- Most people who ride public transportation in Chicago probably don't agree with Friedman (despite that few names are more closely related to the city), and I feel like anyone who's willing to pick this thing up today is probably familiar with his ideas and is looking to hammer them in some more, so it almost looks like I'm trying to make a point by reading it. But I haven't read an econ book in a while, plus Friedman's prose is underrated: 

"However attractive anarchy may be as a philosophy, it is not feasible in a world of imperfect men."

But I didn't feel self conscious about any of those four. There has only been one book that I occasionally made efforts to keep concealed on the train:

1. Women (Charles Bukowski)

First: the title.

Second (and foremost): the cover art.

Third: if anyone happened to be reading over my shoulder (which I often do to others) they were probably treated to a scene where a drunken Chinaski "mounts" a woman but is unable to orgasm, so he passes out, wakes up the next morning, pukes, shits, and then remounts and does the deed to completion and then sees her out. (That being said, it's a great book.)