I was about to get into the shower yesterday when I realized that my fingernails were getting a bit long. I was already naked at that point, so I had a decision to make. I could...
1) Stand in the bathroom naked and cut my fingernails
2) Put my underwear back on, sit down, and cut my fingernails
3) Sit on the toilet naked and cut my fingernails
I went with option #3. Sitting on the toilet is by no means uncomfortable, and I'm not one of those guys who likes to hang out naked, so I figured it'd be nice to sit around naked for a few minutes. A little dry naked time would probably be therapeutic for me. After sitting on the toilet for a minute or so, I felt something happening, next thing I knew I felt a piece of shit coming down the pipe, and just like that the turd dropped cleanly into the toilet.
What a pleasant surprise that was!
Normally, I only take dumps when I know I have go. So generally speaking, within the first five seconds after my asscheeks have touched the toilet seat, you can bet your last dollar that there will be at least one turd in the water. So imagine my surprise when this piece of shit decided to nonchalantly make its way out of my asshole without warning.
I didn't even realize it, but in my excitement, I had stopped clipping my fingernails to ponder what had just happened. I resumed the nail clipping and next thing I knew, I felt another turd making its way through the anal canal. Another two pieces came out!
This had just gone from lounging on a toilet seat naked, to a surprise little turd, to a full-fledged dump!
This has pretty much changed my way of thinking about life.
Is this how other people shit? Do they just pick a time, decide to sit down for however long it takes and wait for shit to come out? Do any of you shit this way?
This is mind blowing!
**I wasn't even going to post this entry, but what's funnier than all of this, is that I went on Wikipedia to double check whether it is indeed the "anal canal" that leads to the asshole. Under the Wikipedia entry for "Anus", there is actually a PICTURE of a male AND female asshole. Not a diagram, a photograph! The man's asshole is all hairy, you can see his taint (or as many of you may call it, the "conch") and the bottom part of his scrotum. The woman's is kind of nasty, it looks like her pussy lips are actually going right up to - and perhaps into - her asshole.
7 comments:
That was an image I will never unsee. Thanks, Cyrus. It's not nearly as bad as that "two girls, one cup" video that's all the rage now, but....actually, come to think of it, it's absolutely nothing compared to "two girls, one cup." I mean after that, there really isn't anything left, is there? There is absolutely nothing left to see.
I take one shit a week. Sunday morning. Myself, the good Lord, and the bathroom.
I'd never heard of "two girls, one cup" until I read your comment
I would love to learn story of those two girls' lives up to that point.
Another brilliant post about shitting. I don't think anyone who knows you can read that post and not get a vivid picture of you sitting naken on the shitter, cutting your nails, and then suddenly stopping, looking down between your legs and staring in awe at the unexpected turd floating (or sunk to the bottem) in the toilet.
Unexpected shit is called incontinence. Get ready for Depends.
I'm wondering why you didn't sit naked on the top of the toilet seat. Why didn't you have the toilet lid down to cut your nails. If it was, then you wouldn't have had that turtle-head sticking out in the 1st place. What law says that a man has to lift the lid to just sit on a toilet seat? You've got to understand...as soon as you're sitting with dick and balls in the bowl, you've already committed to shitting, whether you intended to or not.
-Juice
r u kidding me? and for the record only toddlers sit on the toilet and wait for something to happen and that's because they're being trained. . . everyone else actually has to go before sitting. y am i waisting my time responding to this.
I think the better question would be, 'why are you wasting your time reading this?'
Post a Comment