Friendster

I received this e-mail today:

Hi there, Cyrus! 

We noticed you haven't exported your Friendster profile. 

You may have heard that an exciting new Friendster is coming soon. Your favourite games and the friends you have been playing with will continue to be there. However, data such as your account profile, photos, messages, blogs and shoutouts won't be. To save all your personal data, the Exporter app is here to help you. Since many users are still in the process of exporting their data, the Exporter app will be available for an additional month, until June 27. If you need help on how to use the Exporter app, head over to the Friendster Help Page. 

Regards, 

Your friends at Friendster 

I feel sorry for Friendster. They came out before Facebook, but while Mark Zuckerberg has been the subject of an Academy Award winning biopic and his name mentioned alongside that of Bill Gates, I'd imagine that Jonathan Abrams couldn't use his status as the founder of Friendster to get a table at a crowded Denny's.

And to add insult to injury, on the right side of the e-mail I got from Friendster, there was a button I could press that would allow me to share the e-mail on Facebook.

More on Bin Laden

So they found Bin Laden's porn stash. (NSFW)

Ok, they didn't really find that particular site, but here's a real story about Bin Laden's porn stash from the Tribune. Unfortunately, U.S. officials didn't release any details about Bin Laden's tastes other than to say that his collection was modern and extensive.

I disagree with our government's on this decision on this. If they don't want to show us a picture of his carcass, fine. I don't need to see that. But at least have the common courtesy to give us the details about his porn collection. There's no disrespect in that.

You can tell a lot about a man by his porn.

And you can tell a lot about a society by its porn.

In case you didn't click on the site to which I linked above, it is called "Old Farts and Young Tarts."

And if you scroll down to the bottom of their homepage, you can see listings of its partner sites along with their descriptions and a picture from each. Here are a few (I am NOT making these up:)

Rimbledon - "The rectum is a male's most sensitive area. Combine this with the softness of a tongue and the smoothness of saliva and you can see why it's so much fun." (The picture accompanying this description is of two pant-less men sitting spread-eagle on a coffee table while a woman in lingere licks the first guy's asshole.) (I specify that they're "pantless" because they're both still wearing their shirts and sneakers)

In case you're not into watching half dressed men getting their assholes licked, maybe you'll like,

Creamed on Glasses - "When a secretary is looking for a job at our company, she has to pass a special job interview. These girls aren't dumb and know very well what the men talk about..." (The picture accompanying this description is of a girl with a dick on her tongue and a dick on each eye (the dicks on the eyes slide in underneath her glasses.))

But if you're not turned on by watching girls in glasses getting gangbanged, maybe you'll like,

Sleep Surprise - "Just look at her sleeping so quietly and serene, now I can take a closer look... She has such delicious titties and a horny pussy, you don't think she'll notice if I slip my hard cock inside her, will she?" (The picture accompanying this description is of a topless girl lying on her back---apparently sleeping---while a pantless, hairy legged man puts his erection on her closed mouth.)

Not into the rape-wakeup call? Well, then maybe you'll like,

Peeing Games - "Is there a more horny way to polish your fuck off then by having a pee... preferably over each other? In peeinggames you see it happening! Hot girls sucking, fucking and pissing, all in close up!" (The picture accompanying this description is of a woman in a bikini sitting on a park bench looking up at a fully dressed man who is pulling his dick out through the zipper of his jeans and holding it with a rubber glove while peeing on her face.)

Not turned on by watching men excrete on women? Maybe you'll like,

Holey Fuck - "Girls on the road always have to take bathroom breaks... Sounds familiar right? Let's just slide the boner through a hole in the wall of the women's toilet and see how the girl inside reacts..." (The picture accompanying this description is of a pantless woman on a toilet looking surprised to see an erection poking into the bathroom through a hole in the wall next to the toilet paper dispenser.)

I was curious to see how they would react, so I clicked on the link to check it out.

When I got on the site, I saw that it had thumbnail previews to several scenes, and it didn't take long to figure out that the scenes all followed a similar formula:

Picture 1 --- A conservatively dressed woman walks into a gas station bathroom.

Picture 2 --- She sits on the toilet and minds her own business.

Picture 3 --- She is surprised to see an erection stick out through a hole in the wall.

Picture 4 --- She is either rubbing or sucking on the erection as it sticks out through the hole in the wall.

Picture 5 --- She is actually having sex with the erection that sticks out through the hole in the wall.

(Optional) Picture 6 --- There are actually two holes in the wall, and the woman services erections coming out of each. (P.Inc.)


So I guess my question is:  Does this stuff work? Are these sites viewed for masturbatory purposes? Or just laughs?

On Bin Laden

Did the Navy Seal who killed Bin Laden get yelled at by his boss for not capturing him alive?

I read that Bin Laden's wife was in the room with him when he was shot, and that she was shot in the leg and taken alive. Any chance they could have done that to Sammy too? I would have rather seen Bin Laden in U.S. custody than see him dead.

(I'm not faulting the guy for killing him, I'm just saying, if he had a choice..)

...

And is Burial at Sea really a Muslim tradition?

I did some research on Muslim burial tradition for this post in January of 2007, and I remember reading that the body was supposed to be bathed and then buried within 24 hours. I don't recall reading anything about the carcass needing to be dumped into the ocean.

...

Donald Trump has been doing a lot of Obama bashing lately, and it bothered Obama enough to where he fired back at the White House Corespondents' dinner.

So Sunday night Cindy and I were sitting in front of the TV, and she flipped to NBC just as the opening credits started rolling for Celebrity Apprentice. I looked at Cindy and said, "There's no way I'm going to sit here and watch an entire episode of Celebrity Apprentice."

(I had never watched one before. I saw half of one a couple of weeks ago)

So 50 minutes later, they're in the boardroom and it's high drama about who is going to be fired. Cindy and I thought it was either going to be Hope (the 2010 Playboy Playmate of the Year) or Nene (a former Real Housewives cast member, whose angry rants I enjoyed imitating throughout the show.) We were going back and forth, our instincts said Hope because she was quiet and didn't cause any drama and men who may have been tuning in to watch her for masturbatory purposes had probably lost interest long ago, whereas keeping Nene on would guarantee Trump another week of shouting matches and drama. But then maybe Trump would surprise everyone and fire Nene..

Like I said, it was high drama.

So just minutes before the end of the show, right when Trump was about to say some last words before making his decision, what happens? NBC cuts to coverage of the Bin Laden announcement. And Obama didn't even give his speech for almost another hour.

So my question is this---and I'm serious---did someone in that administration tell the networks to cut out at 9:50 knowing that Obama wasn't ready to give his speech, just to fuck Trump's spotlight?

I honestly believe the answer to that question is Yes.

...

Speaking of Celebrity Apprentice, say what you want about the contestants not being celebrities, but I've heard of 13 of the 16 contestants on the show. (I'd never heard of Nene, Hope, or John Rich)

John Rich is a country music singer who wears a big cowboy hat at all times during the show, and he was one half of the team that help millions of teenage boys south of the Mason Dixon line get laid with this song.

...

Speaking of country music:  country musicians today are not afraid to be as sexual as hip hop and 80's rock.

Connors and I went through the iTunes top ten singles last week, and 9 out of 10 were about sex.