Quick Pictures

What would you think of a woman you saw dressed like this?

I know what I'd think.

"Wow. That is a highly intelligent woman."

(I would have given that ski mask to Selena, but I'd rather have it for myself)

.....

I put on this outfit as a joke Saturday night to see how long it would take for anyone to notice. 

Which made realize that although it might be a joke to me, there are people out there for whom it's just a regular 'Tuesday afternoon at the office' outfit. It really got me thinking about my life.

.....

They were giving out free samples of Fiber One Bars at Costco!!

Free samples of Fiber One Bars!!!

Not only should that be illegal, but it should be a felony.

I've heard first-hand accounts from adults who have eaten Fiber One bars and then POOPED THEIR PANTS shortly after!!

That stuff is poison! They were poisoning people at Costco.

.....

This was the box of a bookcase for sale at Costco

Not a lot of books on that bookcase

.....

taken from my parents' tv:

This a picture of Michael Jordan from a recent Hanes commercial. Notice that MJ is sporting the infamous "Hitler" mustache.

Disclaimer: I'm no stranger to bold facial hair.

When I worked for KPMG in 2002, my practice group sent out holiday cards with our pictures to all of our clients. The front of the card had a picture of the partners/directors, and the inside had a picture of the associates. This is the picture of partners/directors (before they cropped it):

And this is the picture of the associates:

Who's the asshole in front with the Fu Manchu?

I was a senior associate. I was supposed to be building relationships with clients. But instead I was walking into serious meetings with a Hulk Hogan mustache!

A month later, I shaved the handlebars and just wore a regular mustache. And I kept it for a long time.

I was a single, 23 year-old guy, working in a professional environment, and I was running around the city looking like that! (for months!)

Subconsciously -- for some reason -- I must not have wanted to meet women or want any kind of advancement in the workplace.

And keep in mind that this was 2002

Ok, I lost my train of thought.

Oh yeah.

Forget that the Hitler mustache isn't a look that many find fashionable. Although, given how terribly Michael Jordan dresses, it is possible that he just thinks it looks good. Take a look at some of these Jordan outfits:

I'd point my solar panels at him. 

The boots really take the attention away from the jacket.

The short-sleeve mock turtleneck really takes the attention away from the extra baggy pleated checkered cargo linen pants. 

MJ accidentally grabbed Shaq's blazer

Maybe he's ahead of his time with those jeans

Did he actually walk into a store and pick out those jeans?

Compared to the other outfits, this suit actually looks pretty good


But back to this:



Isn't someone on the set of the Hanes commercial going to tell MJ that not only does he look ridiculous, but that he's sporting a mustache made infamous by a man responsible for killing millions of innocent people?

Or, is there a school of thought that says that by allowing -- or possibly even encouraging -- Jordan to sport the Hitler mustache, Hanes is telling viewers, "Look, Michael Jordan is the most famous and powerful man in the world. He is so famous and so powerful that he can sport a Hitler mustache in a commercial and there's nothing that anyone is going to do about it. This man can do ANYTHING he wants. And this man -- who can do anything he wants -- wears Hanes underwear."

(Maybe)

Although, take a look at Hanes Inc.'s Officers and Board of Directors. No Jews (unless Ann Zeigler is Jewish, but I don't think so)

Ok, for the sake of full disclosure:

that was taken in January of 2008.


Ok, one more thing, that kind of jumped in my head after seeing the following picture:



How many women has MJ slept with in his life?

I think think I'd set the over/under at 4,500