pleasure shopping (and probably something else)

I bought a pair of Levi's 527 jeans from Urban Outfitters a few years ago. The jeans fit well, and they haven't ripped, and they were relatively inexpensive, so on my shopping trip to Oakbrook with Cindy last Sunday I went back to Urban Outfitters to buy a new pair in a different color.

After flipping through the Awkward Family Photos book for a little while (which -- after you realize is real -- really puts a lot of things in perspective) I went upstairs to the men's department and over to the table where they laid out the Levi's jeans. The table was set up the same as it had been three years ago, except for one difference:

My Levi's 527's -- which had been prominently displayed on the table three years ago -- were no longer there. The jeans on display now were of a different fit.

I read the description and wasn't sure if I'd like the new style, but I decided to give them a shot.

Here's a picture of me wearing the Levi's 527's I bought a few years ago (which I happened to be wearing that day)

And here's a picture of me wearing the new style.

Maybe a side view will give you a little better idea of the difference between the two

Jeans I bought three years ago:

Jeans that would make my legs and ass look pretty good if I was a woman:

Here's another picture, just in case

Jeans I bought three years ago:

Jeans that require me to make a decision about which pant leg to put my penis into:

After I walked out of the fitting room, one of the guys working there asked me, "How did those work out for you?"

"I don't know man. I think they might be a little tight."

"Yeah," he replied, "that's how they run."

"Do you guys still carry the 527's?"

"Ooh, no, we don't have those anymore at this store, but Levi's still makes them. Try another store, like maybe Kohl's, I think they'll have them there."

"Really? Kohls??"

So I bought the jeans.

...

Has anyone else seen these new Apple Store's that sell Microsoft products?

Either that, or it's the most blatant display of copying a competitor's image I've ever seen.

It's absolutely shameless! They copied everything: the white theme, the organization of products inside, and even the salesmen's uniforms. I almost felt sorry for Microsoft while I was walking around in there. 

...

Another day, another Chicago police officer patrolling the city streets on horseback.

...

Ok, I didn't buy those tight jeans, but I'm starting to think I can pull them off.

Job Opening at cyrus2k.blogspot.com

I am looking to hire someone to read through all of my fan mail.

Please e-mail your application materials

In addition to reading my fan mail, the person I hire will also be responsible for responding to fan mail and pretending that the response was from me.

Compensation for the position will be 5% of the advertising revenue from this blog.

Overheard on the Bus this morning:

I was sitting on the bus this morning and overheard this conversation between the two girls behind me.

Girl 1 – So did you??

Girl 2 – (hesitates) Yes

Girl 1 – (gets excited) So,,, How was it?

Girl 2 – Well, it was good,

Girl 1 – Ooooh!

Girl 2 – It started out great, and

Girl 1 – What happened? Tell me everything that happened after you left the bar.

Girl 2 – Ok, so we walked back to his condo – he’s got a really nice place in Old Town – and then we sat and talked for a while and then he opened a bottle of wine and put on some music.

Girl 1 – Ooh, very romantic.

Girl 2 – It was. So we drank and talked. And I think I was a little tipsy because I was trying to get him to dance with me, but eventually we started making out – he’s a great kisser.

Girl 1 – Ohhhh,

Girl 2 – Then one thing led to another and we were in his bedroom.

Girl 1 – Sounds great so far.

Girl 2 – It was. And then, actually, he didn’t have any protection so he ran across the street to a Walgreens and…

Girl 1 – (Interrupting) Ok, ok, just skip to the good stuff. Was he big?

Girl 2 – Above average for sure.

Girl 1 – So how was it?

Girl 2 – It was good, he was really good. He was older, so seemed to know his way around the bed, and I’m pretty sure he takes Viagra.

Girl 1 – Oh, I love it when guys are on Viagra

Girl 2 – I’ve had mixed experiences, but it didn’t make him crazy or anything.

Girl 1 – Ok, so then what?

Girl 2 – Then he asked me to call him “Daddy” – and I’ve been with a black guy before, so I didn’t think that was a big deal, so I started calling him “Daddy”

Girl 1 – And then what?

Girl 2 – So after I was calling him “daddy” he got even more into it and it got better, and then he asked “Who’s your daddy?” So I told him that he was.

Girl 1 – I’ve heard about guys who are into that kind of stuff.

Girl 2 – Yeah, and then he kept telling me to call him daddy and dad and papi

Girl 1 – And?

Girl 2 – And so I did. And he was really into it, and it was great, but

Girl 1 – But what?

Girl 2 – But then he said, “Tell me you want me to give you your allowance early this week.”

Girl 1 – What?

Girl 2 – Yeah, I know. So I was like, “Uh, what?” and he just said it again. He said, “Ask me if you can have your allowance early this week.”

Girl 1 – That’s weird.

Girl 2 – Yeah, very weird, and I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. So he got kind of flustered and said, “Ok, ok, then ask me if I’ll drive you and your friends to the mall tomorrow.”

Girl 1 – Oh my God.

Girl 2 – Yeah.

Girl 1 – So what’d you do?

Girl 2 – What else could I do? I jumped off the bed, took off the Sesame Street t-shirt he gave me, put my clothes back on and got the hell out of there!